My alma mater, Cornell College, is hosting a local Colorado alumni picnic next week.
And my mother thinks I should go, try to build networks with people and at the very least find out where other young graduates with presumably similar and fairly useless liberal arts degrees are actually finding work (since it's totally not where I've been looking).
(My estimates: 35% unemployed, 20% working in service industry jobs, and 10% in school for advanced degrees.)
Intellectually I know that she is right. I totally get what she's saying about trying to become more established in whatever tendrils of community I can find and being vocal about actively looking for employment.
And it would be a thing that could only be beneficial to me, and as I have no social life or scheduling conflicts, it is exceptionally hard to decline attending.
But emotionally I really don't want to go.
Building connections with people in slightly awkward social situations has never been my strong suite, and today I'm feeling exceptionally drained on so many levels that all I want to do is stay in bed for a week.
(Having arrived back from a cross country week long trip to see extended family members today may or may not be very heavily contributing to this fatigued feeling right now.)
And the Cornell alumni whom I'm aware of presently in the area from my time at the school aren't really people I particularly want to hang out with.
Ah yes, the girl who always placed above me and my clarinet bff in concert band and had a predisposition to be just a touch snobby about it (remarkably similar to our private lesson instructor, who she got along with exceptionally well while the rest of us weren't overly fond of her, interestingly enough) who in addition to being happily married and employed with an awesome job right now just posted a ton of pictures on facebook of her and the ex girlfriend Peter broke up with to date me back in the day running the Boulder Bolder in sports bras with ridiculously muscled abdomens.... yes yes, they totally bring back fond reminiscing and make me want to make cocktail chatter at a reservoir for three hours with them and their ilk.
But then again, maybe I should think about things (any things, really, at this point....) when I'm not going into my 18th hour of high stress day on 3 hours of sleep. I suspect this may improve my character and substantially decrease the self pitying whiny factor of personal reflections.