Sunday, July 3, 2011

Conversations I Still Can't Have

As I've been doing this parenting thing now for nearly four years, I'm getting much more confident in my abilities to be a competent mother (Do you see my children still alive over there? Total proof of my parenting awesomeness!) and more comfortable interacting with other parents in the social scene.

Now admittedly, they are all still a solid 15+ years older than me, but I've come to realize that the age difference shouldn't be viewed as such an intimidation factor since old adultish people generally aren't nearly as bitchy snarky brash as teenagers and punk college kids.

However, groups of these parents still occasionally turn the conversation to topics I simply cannot properly participate in.

Like graying hair.

I do not have gray hair. I do not need to color my hair to hide the gray. My closest association to gray hair is my 61 year old mother, and lets face it, blurting out "damn you DO need to color your hair, you have more gray roots showing through than my not-hair-dying mom does!" isn't going to make me many friends.

Another good one that's come up a couple of times recently has been the aggravation and challenges of having children in your thirties. I just turned 26, people in their thirties are old. Also, my youthful uterus has totally been on hyperactive baby drive the last 5 years and manages to get itself knocked up at the slightest "we're just not trying really hard to NOT have a baby right now" moment of opportunity. So I just don't get to contribute much to that conversation either.

(Marginally related side note: The awesome ladies at Rants from Mommyland published a post about why being forty is better than being twenty a little while back, and I attempted to write a counter post of a mimicking style about why being twenty is so much better than being forty, but then had some serious problems doing so since I have no idea what it is like to be forty beyond being assuming I'd be practically deceased at that point. So that's why being in your forties is better than being in your twenties, you can actually compare ages and stages at both.)

((My apologies to those in and/or quickly approaching their forties, I'm sure you aren't really almost deceased... in fact, some of you, like the gals at the afore mentioned Rants from Mommyland and Nan over at The Wrath of Mom are down right awesomely cool ladies. Even if you're starting to get a little *shhh* old....))

Another moment that always brings about a little cringe from me is meeting the husbands/daddies who are even older than the less than exuberantly youthful moms.

The oldest guy I have ever been involved with was Peter, checking in a whooping entire year older than myself. So yeah, the briefest concept of dating someone pushing fifty is just still kinda ew for me (here, let me show you how I still have the maturity of a punk college student). Not that there's anything wrong with it for someone past forty mind you, and I'm sure it must be nice to have a special someone to plan a joint grave plot with, but it's just not the stage in life I am in right now.

(On another marginally related side note: Did you know I totally get regularly checked out when I'm in exciting places like Target if I'm without children, but the younger menfolk don't give me a second glance when I have the girls in tow? I'm continuing to sense an age/mindset gap here between me personally and my peers, which may cause some serious personal relationship complications in the next five to ten years for me. But then it'll be ok, because I'll be kinda old too and can simply accept getting involved with *shudder* older men.)


  1. Dude
    DUDE! Did you just out me as old?

  2. No! I would never, ever... well, maybe a little.... but it was totally talking about how awesomely cool you are in spit of it! Because you're totally badass and exactly how I want to be when I get to be... um........ extra experienced in life??

  3. I started getting gray hair when I was 20 so yeah...