Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How Hummingbirds Nearly Caused My Untimely Demise

My parents have a hummingbird feeder they like to put out during the summer. They have a regular seed feeder they put out by the deck during the winter, but because they don't want bears raiding it (you think you got problems with squirrels? We get bears!) it comes down in the spring as hibernation ends, and then the hummingbird one goes up out on the second story eaves.

I am fairly indifferent to the whole affair most of the time, as I'm not actually particularly fond of birds (add that to the list of why I'm probably going to hell). But this past week my parents left town. Which means no-one was filling the hummingbird feeder on a daily basis.

And the feeder got empty.

Admittedly, had I needed to go to much effort to make or otherwise procure hummingbird food I probably wouldn't have bothered with the endeavor at all. But my folks cook the sugar syrup up in big batches and store the left over in a refurbished apple juice jug in the fridge, so all that was required to refill the feeder was to physically bring it to the kitchen and fill it up.

Sounds easy enough, I can handle that. Right?

Well, getting the empty hummingbird feeder down went alright. And I filled it without incident, and even managed to walk back across the house with a full hummingbird feeder without dropping it or spilling it or walking into the wall (don't judge, those walls can be tricky).

Then, I opened the window and stuck out the delicious sugar water filled bright red delight still attached to the end of my arm outside.

And the hummingbirds were ecstatic!

And I was very disconcerted by the loud humming coming directly towards me and hovering over me as I attempted to hang it up without actually loosing my precariously perched window sill balance or dropping the feeder.

(Ok, I almost dropped the feeder. But only almost. And only twice.)

So that is how the sadistic hummingbirds almost killed me caused brief distress on my part during an otherwise simple task.


  1. Two things. 1: I also hate birds. We simply DO NOT get along. At all. Ever.
    2: We have a hummingbird (no hummingbird feeder) who is very territorial and agressive. If I go out on the deck, he'll fly up within inches of my face and try to reclaim his territory. NO SUGAR WATER FOR YOU, Mister!!!

  2. I like birds but hummingbirds are certainly evil.