Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Potential Proof that I am Getting Old

Preface: apparently there are places in the world, like Canada, where everyone does not have a Target within 10 miles of their home and subsequently some are unfamiliar with what the Target stores are, those poor deprived people. Essentially Target is a classy version of Walmart, or in other words, a big chain discount retailer who stocks everything from swimsuits to condoms to cat food to lawn chairs to duct tape to peanut butter, usually at fairly attractive prices no less.

(Side note, do not buy those above listed items in a single shopping trip without some other things tossed in. It starts to look intriguing. And not in a good way.)

So I had my first day of Target new employ orientation yesterday.

And you know what I took away from it?

That I'm getting old.

By my best calculations from casual discussions of school graduation years and scrupulous over-shoulder peering at what was probably semi-confidential paperwork, I was at least a solid 4 years older than anyone else in the room.

Damn.

But that wasn't even the worst part, for when we had all showed up for the day I had totally assumed everyone was around my age. I strongly suspect this means that if given a group of 20 year olds and a group of 30 year olds and asked which ones are my peers, I'd totally be circling the 20 year olds, while assuming that I have just graduated college.

But I haven't.

I did the math driving home from the first day (and then almost had a heart attack), and I went through the commencement ceremony for COLLEGE 5 years ago.

Turns out I did NOT just graduate from college, irregardless of what I still seem to think in my head.

One of the guys there went to the same high school I did. And he had just graduated this spring. You know, only a mere eight years after I did.

(And then I started having panic attacks about quickly approaching my 10 year high school reunion and being practically decrepit already.)

But I also found it almost comical, as all these punk kids were talking about graduating and what types of jobs they were going to get with their physics and accounting degrees, and alluding to the awesomeness of finally reaching "the real world".

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

"The real world" pretty much just sucks unless you manage to have some exceptional dumb luck (or exceptional dumb connections) and actually land a ridiculously nice paying job as a stark few are fabled to be able to, at which point you can devote your time and energy to all that all important interpersonal relationship and starting a family crap since having a baby and never sleeping again is just freaking awesome!

Otherwise you can look forward to living in your parents' basement and working at Target for a single digit hourly wage while totally wishing you were back in college where it was ok to not be particularly successful at life yet. Woot!!

1 comment:

  1. I feel there is a strong issue with society where we are expected to have college degree's, more often a Bachelors since an Associates isn't good enough anymore, and yet everyone I know with a big fancy degree is working retail or at a call center or mail room.
    And yet, I am still working on my degree, hoping to achieve that all mighty career........ hm....

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