Sunday, August 7, 2011

My Discovery of Hotpockets

Working at Target has come with several under-advertised perks.

Like an ever increasing distaste for rampant consumerism (children's Halloween costumes excepted, of course) and a new found hatred for plastic drawer storage units.

(Do you KNOW how many of those stupid things I have to put out a day?? And the college rush hasn't even happened yet! I can just see the landfills full of them when they get destroyed in 6 months... and people in Boulder are whining about needing more renewable electricity than Excel will give them. Bah! Should be whining about cheap semi-disposable college student furniture instead.)

But even better is their food days, when the break room magically fills with all sorts of awesome things.

There was pastry day, where I learned I still have no self control when it comes to Hostess. There was candy day, where I learned I have no self control when it comes to fun sized M&Ms and Skittles packages. There was cookie day, where I learned I have only marginal self control when it comes to Oreos. There was popcorn day, where I learned Target brand microwave popcorn isn't very good, and I DO have excellent self control in regards to not stuffing my face with crummy popcorn.

And then last Wednesday there was Hotpocket day.

I had never had a Hotpocket before, as they are often pricey and some small part of my brain actually knows what the nutrition label most likely says. But culinary apprehension was quickly overcome when the other readily available option was a marginal looking slightly smooshed peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

And besides, a quick rummage through the two break room freezers turned up a plethora of pepperoni pizza Hotpockets. Frozen pizza, although not the best pizza in the world, is usually deemed quite edible to my still-eating-like-a-college-student palate. Therefore, frozen pizza in an encased rectangle should make an adequate lunch.

And they were surprisingly good. Like, really really good. Like, I may have consumed three between my lunch and afternoon breaks and only briefly considered grabbing another one on my way out for the day.

But then I started thinking on the drive home, there were WAY more flavors than just pepperoni pizza crammed into those freezers.

What if the breakfast ones are just as good?? And the Leanpocket (aka "healthy") ones? And I know there were some with all sorts of weird sounding ingredients, which beyond seeming counter intuitive since it's still just a Hotpocket irregardless of whatever cheddar and broccoli or barbecue meatballs combination gets into them, but hey, I like barbecue....

This could be a very bad discovery depending on what exactly that nutritional label does say.

Dare I look? Dare I count how much horribly delicious fat and sodium I undoubtedly consumed? Dare I look at the price on them? Dare I buy more??

ps- Do you really want some pepperoni pizza Hotpockets now? I sure do....


  1. No you should not look. And no...lean pockets are not as good.

  2. Yes, you should look, at least if you want to maintain your girlish figure. Also, the Lean Pocket flavor drop is probably not worth the small improvement in the numbers on the back.

    Mm, delicious Hot Pockets...

  3. mmm... hot pockets are good for a "treat" but wouldn't suggest eating them regularly. oh, except the philly steak ones. and maybe the meatball. ; )