Monday, September 19, 2011

My Delightful Day at Work

How was your day today?

I know people often say this as a matter of route generic greeting while not actually caring about the response itself (happens to me constantly at work with people who are half an aisle away before I could even get a muttered "fine" out of my mouth), but I really would like to hear about it.

Because I'm a comment whore weird like that lonely a considerate and thoughtful person.

But first, as you cannot possibly tell me about your day until I have made this into a blog post asking you how your day was, let me tell you about mine.

Mine was just delightful.

It started with the 4th day of opening in a row, and although I'm sure many people have to get up at 5:30am for a whole 5 days a week, I... well, I just don't like waking up that early, and find repetitively doing so to be painful. Also, I don't do it quite enough to actually get into the good habit of going to bed at a decent time. And I find my alarm clock to be slowly killing my soul each time it goes off.

But enough about all that, my day started early and with me tired, and therefore just had total success written all over it.

Work really did go rather smoothly for the morning, in stark contrast to several of those other past mornings that involved lots of panic and running around the store like I was being chased by eating-post-midnight gremlins.

And then there was lunch time. And let me tell you, spending my half hour off battling midday traffic to drop what turned out to be partially incorrect paperwork off at the courthouse was just *such* an improvement to my normal routine of hiding somewhere quiet with a large book. Really now, it made me wonder why I don't hop into my car to do a semi-futile task for EVERY lunch break. Oh, and it only cost me 45 minutes of work time to pay for those french fries I inhaled during it.

My economics instructor would be so proud of that cost/benefits analysis right there. Heck, I'm pretty sure my middle school math teacher would be pretty proud of that amazing mathelogical process too!

Mathelogical is a word, right? It totally should be, as it's an excellent description of what I do to math.

Oh wait, I'm getting off subject.

So, the next highlight of my day would be stealing a chocolate cupcake out of the produce section's trashcans that had been forgotten about before being dumped into the big trash compactor in the back room next to the box baler to eat on my break. It was only a day past it's expiration date, and completely enclosed in it's plastic little container while surrounded by other similar cupcakes and packages of cookies and a few very sorry looking containers of green beans. I was also totally planning on helping myself to some pink frosted cookies to bring home to the girls, but it got dumped before I was ending my work shift. Since I'm not entirely sure whether this is an ok thing to be doing as an employee, I haven't gotten around to asking whether it's ok for me to take the stuff being trashed as I'd rather be able to plead ignorance than straight up defiance should somebody ever question me on it.

I do kinda fear that if it's truly "ok" for me to help myself to all that goes through there, I would quickly become a hoarder with all sorts of only slightly damaged goods piled high around me. And there might be some ethical compulsions from actually selecting food from the trash can to bring home to my children on a regular basis, although I'm pretty sure cupcakes and pink frosted cookies are excluded from this clause on account of them being cupcakes and pink frosted cookies. My chocolate cupcake really was delicious. 

So there I was with my deliciously free and only slightly morally compromising chocolate cupcake and big book on break, when I checked the just posted low-income housing voucher lottery results online to find out the thrilling news that I did not, in fact, get a slot. It's really not a big deal, as I feel like nothing but success from being 26 and living with my parents and certainly had not picked out the townhouse I wanted to live in much less thought through things like how I was going to convince my coworkers to help me move my furniture in from it's storage units. And I would have never figured out the entire floor plan with furniture and decorated the girls' rooms with all the amazing (pink) wonders I see on a daily basis at Target, because really now, doing stuff like that is just not a productive use of time. Especially when one is at work, and instead of stocking shelves gazing longingly at the pink fluffy bedspreads. Yep, not productive in the slightest, so it's a really good thing I'm not an easily distracted or browsy sort of worker like that.

But my day was going to hold out on unexpected delightful perks all the way through an entire otherwise uneventful workday by me getting called into the office to discuss my clocking in with 2 minutes of overtime last week. Woot! For 0.03 of an hour they have to pay me unauthorized time and a half!! Yep, I'm single handedly trying to bankrupt Target by stealing cupcakes from the trash and getting overtime for the second time this month.

Damn I'm good.

Lucky for them my supervisors realized my evil plot and have taken drastic steps to correct the situation before I managed to take over the world. And now I have an excellent topic of conversation to bring up at the next huddle when they're whining about people not showing up for their shifts! See, don't just not show up OR be over your 40 hour allotment by 2 minutes, because they're both like so equally bad and you'll get the same scolding for doing it!

But shhhhhh, don't tell them about the chocolate-cupcake-from-the-trash incident.... I've still gotten away with that one! Bwahahahaha!!


  1. Your day was much more exciting than mine!

    I am one of those people up at 5:30 every day. I'm already a morning person, but now that it's cooler, I get blasted with cold air every morning when I take the dog outside. So I come in refreshed and therefore annoying to the hubby & daughter who are still snuggled in their respective beds. :D

    I work for a trucking company (billing department), so there is always drama with the drivers & such. I usually stay in my corner & shuffle papers.

    After work, I have to think about what day of the week it is, in order to figure out where the girl is / needs to be since she's on both the school and studio dance teams.

    Her birthday party sleepover is this weekend, and our house currently looks like a tornado hit, so I need to clean, grocery shop, bathe the smelly dog, decorate, fold a mountain of preparation for 7 teenage girls to swoop in & destroy.

    At least it's not snowing yet!

  2. Sorry to hear you're having a rough day. A lot of corporations are very picky about late clockouts. I know I got in trouble with Disney on more than one occasion, which was especially annoying since I have to stay in my position until someone else comes to bump me out. Best bet is to set your phone to alarm you about 10 minutes before you need to clock (or whatever you need to have time to finish your project and move to back of house) and keep taking the perks wherever you can find them! Good luck and much love.

  3. Well, as I'm receiving your question on Tuesday, it's going like this: Today is one of my days off (I work part-time), and I had the 2nd-trimester ultrasound this morning. The baby was uncooperative at first, but they were finally able to get all the pictures they wanted, and to tell me I have a healthy baby girl. Mostly I am glad to have confirmation that I haven't been imagining these near-constant PMS symptoms; I really do have ridiculous levels of estrogen in the system this time around. (I am also glad to be having a girl, for variety's sake I guess. Plus, I won't be outnumbered like my mom was.)

    I've been particularly exhausted lately, so it's nice that the rest of the day (other than my workout time) is dedicated to a bath and general lounging about.

    Hope today is going better for you.

  4. My day started with having to pry my 5 yr old out of bed so he could go to school. It was raining, so I was a huge wuss and drove across the street to drop him off, but it saved me at least 10 mins and none of us got wet. I dropped off #2 at daycare and came into work. Got here only 20 mins late, instead of my usual 30-45.

    I'm working on taking over teh federal government, and will support your efforts with Target.

  5. My day consisted of arriving at my job to find out that nothing was ready for me, and that I had to cancel my flight home and move it back a day, because someone forgot to show up the night before and install a much needed outlet. I've been in New York for work for 10 days now, and now it got pushed back a day? Yeah. I'd just like to go home now (I live in IL). Not fun!!

  6. Well, i am very behind in my blog reading, and just read this post today! my week has been so crazy at work. not bad-crazy, thankfully. but i do have a slight stress thing going on w/ my left shoulder that is annoying me right now. *laugh* tonight i got to hang out w/ leyton & mom (& the teenager til he went up to his room because he didn't want to watch survivor!).

    : )

    oh yeah - and as to the cupcake - good for you! rescuing a food product that didn't need to be wasted!!