Sunday, October 16, 2011

Don't Judge the Nursing

A girl I went to college with recently posted the following on facebook:
"I usually have no issue with breast feeding, even in a rather public venue....but in a church pew? During service? With no cover? When the child is 3? Really? Just seemed a bit inappropriate to me. Bring on the mommy hate."
And it annoys me.

Almost as much as the discovery that she is not also friends with the super breast feeding advocate Cornell alumni Leslie, as she would have done much more than the meager half-assed response I did and not been cowed by the string of equally clueless judgmental young women commenting in agreement with the original sentiment.

Personally, I am not a big fan of the "nurse them until they are 5" mentality.

But I don't care if other people choose to do so. Really, why should I? Not my child, not my boobs, not my choice, not my problem.

And nursing in Church? Well, it's actually a pretty great place to nurse all things considered. You're sitting down, most of the attention should be directed elsewhere, very few people can see your chest (without some serious head swiveling) on account of sitting in rows, and many parts of the service are pretty quiet.

Oh and Jesus was breastfed so I kinda feel entitled to tell any concerned clergy to shove it.

Yep, I've nursed in a church pew.

And just about every other place imaginable. And probably without a cover, since my babies liked to pull them off as soon as they had enough hand coordination to do so and I had a serious lack of caring about it if a blanket wasn't convenient. It complimented my serious lack of caring about where I was as well, since trying to run off and find a deserted corner to pull out the nipple when the baby wants it NOW is a major pain and gets really old when it happens every hour or two for a year.

But even besides the nursing technicalities, they're just boobs. Can we please get over them already?

AND the final point of this rant is what irritates me the most. I've touched on this before, the irony of religious messages being the opposite of much of the religious mantra. Like that greatly overused biblical quote about not judging others least you be judged, or the one about loving your fellow man, or even that cliche about treating others how you want to be treated.

I would like to boldly tell the world to shut your mouth about judging others, especially in areas in which you have no (and I really do mean NO) freaking clue what it is you are talking about.

Let people parent how they see fit to parent and (unless it is actual abuse, neglect, or directly affecting you/your offspring) leave them alone already.

Parenting is HARD.

No really, it's at least a thousand times harder than anyone who hasn't done it can possibly think it is. I promise you, most parents are already doing the best they can. No really, lets see how great you do when you haven't gotten more than 4 hours of sleep a night for months (or better yet, YEARS) and your entire existence centers around catering to the whims of this sticky squawking inarticulate helpless blob (or better yet, blobs) and your house looks like it should be on the show Hoarders and you don't know the last time you managed to not have spit up on your shirt, much less shower or put on makeup or go to a restaurant.

Being bitchy about stupid socially ingrained bullcrap is just praying for karma to come bite you on the ass in a few years when you get around to having offspring of your own.

So please don't unfriend me, I *really* want to watch that happen.


  1. preach it! social convention is, often times, just plain stupid. a breastfeeding mother should not have to worry about being judged for FEEDING HER CHILD. oye.

  2. No one is more judgy of mothers, unless it's women who are not yet mothers.

  3. It goes both ways. I saw a horrifically vicious attack by pro-nursing people against a girl who simply wrote her story of "why she stopped nursing" on a local blog. It was unbelievable. I've actually been working on a post about it ever since. The judging, both ways, must end.