Sunday, December 4, 2011

My Attainment of the Key of Power

Friday at work was an infamous day which will undoubtedly go into the history books as it was the day I was personally bestowed with the Key of Power.

Ok, it's not really the ULTIMATE Key of Power for Target, nor was it presented with any more ceremony than simply being handed to me, but it's still a pretty powerful little key.

The key goes to the baler (the magical machine that smooshes cardboard boxes onto neat hay-bale-esk contraptions) and allows me to crush it on my whim.

A big part of my specific job involves taking stuff out of boxes and consequently cleaning up the trash (including cardboard boxes) afterwards.

And before Friday, if the baler was full and I needed to put in more boxes, I had to summon and/or patiently wait for someone with the Key of Power to come by and crush it for me.

My Team Lead (aka direct boss of instocks) has one, most of the guys who work in the backroom have them, most of the executives got one with the rest of their Ultimate Keys of Power, and there are a select few sales floor team members who have managed to attain one during their tenure at Target through various (occasionally questionable) means.

However, they are NOT the sort of thing just given out to anyone who works there (although I would argue a lot more of them really should be given out to those, like instocks, who spend their entire days putting crap into the baler), and to get one is a long and complicated bureaucratic process.

Haha, I'm just kidding! It's not the government for crying out loud.

No, the distributor of the Key of Power is the maintenance guy.

He's one of the select few Target employees who does not wear red and khaki, and he is a very crucial person for keeping things working in the store.

Stock tub wheel is stuck? He fixes it. Front doors aren't opening right? He fixes it. TVs in electronics going batty? He fixes it. Bathroom light motion sensor faulty? He fixes it. Leaking roof? He... gets a bucket.

(Yeah, I'm actually not kidding on the last one, but that's a story for another day.)

And another few thousand things that I'm not even aware of he fixes as well, I'm sure.

But after asking around (a lot) about getting one, the answer every single person gave me was I needed to ask him for it and await judgment.

And when I finally managed to politely inquire about whether I could have one (you know, after attempting to ensure that he didn't think I was a complete bumbling idiot), he told sure but it would cost me $50.

I was pretty sure he was kidding.... but not entirely sure whether it meant 'yes' or 'no'.

And although I did have a backup plan which involved chocolate chip cookies to help my "please give me a baler key" cause, he went ahead and got me one before I got around to baking!

And I *may* have felt the need to brag to tell every single fellow employee in the store about it.

Which made everything that much better when I couldn't find my Key of Power three hours later.....


BUT, after genuinely thinking I had lost it (and giving everyone a very amusing afternoon while I attempted to find it... "you lost it ALREADY?!?" was said. A lot. Along with "[Maintenance Guy] is never going to give you another one.") it turned up in my pocket (I swear I checked there. A lot.) when I was putting my work pants in the hamper later.

So I still have my Key of Power, and have gotten myself one little tiny step closer to taking over the world taking over Target having a teensy amount of genuine stature at work.

1 comment:

  1. I was once given the keys to the Mail Boxes Etc where I worked and now look at me: my own dictatorship. You are on your way!