Friday, February 17, 2012

Just Step Away

Step away from the houses and nobody gets hurt!

My name is Marty, and I have a problem.

An MLS listing problem.

Dearest cousin Holly (who visited us for Christmas a few years back which was absolute overwhelming fun the whole time) recently commented on my dreamy house post about how she wants to convince her hubby Eric to move out to Colorado and then we could all get a house together.

Which sounds like an EXCELLENT plan!

So I promptly had to go find us just the most perfect house for us all to live in.

And I totally nailed it with this beauty that has since ceased to exist in the MLS listing world which I found out when I went to finish up this post with a few pictures that aren't at the link anymore, but let me tell you, it was just gorgeous and big and eternally perfect in every way. 

5 minute drive to the always awesome Denver Zoo? 5 minute walk to a very respectable elementary school? Beautiful older architecture in a stately and well maintained home?

I think YES.

And it's in one of those price ranges where I simply couldn't realistically afford it on my own up in the $300k+ amount (you know, assuming I don't find that amazing career with kick-ass salary in the next two months), but if you consider, say, splitting it in half it suddenly becomes much more realistic on my modest because-I'm-not-actually-trained-to-do-anything-thus-only-have-crappy-jobs budget.

And I am not dumb about these things. Holly actually enjoys gardening, which is just fantastic as I am a fan of green growing things on general principle while having no motivation to actually do any work to maintain them as such. And Eric is skilled at lifting heavy things. I really like living with a person who is good at lifting heavy things. Just sayin'.

Not to mention details like how both of them care waaaaaaaaay more about food than I do, so dinners would actually be cooked in that simply beautiful kitchen and I would have a double dossing of disapproving looks every time I handed my children a happy meal.

(This would be good for reducing my reliance on happy meals.)

AND as Holly *is* a vegetarian and Eric has spent significant portions of his life eating as such, they just might even manage to teach my children how to eat love vegetables.


(Not to self: feed children more vegetables. Then blog about it, to counter-act the blogging where you disclose sometimes questionable children's diet choices. Like happy meals.)

(Note to self: stop letting yourself eat like crap, it's negatively influencing how you feed your offspring and cultivating more bad french-fry loving habits.)

(Note to self: meh.... I love french fries more than many other things in this world, perhaps a little indulgence is ok.)

But then, the whole part about needing a job in Denver made me think I should do some more job looking, and I even managed to apply to a few that actually sounded enjoyable to have!

This one as a the City of Broomfield Records Technician sounded right up my ally, as apparently I'm actually really great at guest service (or so they tell me at Target), and a big fan of skilled with things like keeping track of complex paperwork processes (it makes my brain happy hum as I fill out intricate forms, as long as they don't use lots of math).

But the commute would be less than ideal to that big house in Denver that no longer is listed for sale. Hrmm...

I know, I'll just go find a nice little pink house (Kristina expanded her pink bedroom request to a pink house a little while back) conveniently located less than a 10 minute drive away!

Now this particular one is the sort I *almost* think I could totally handle maintaining on my own. However, as it does have that nice basement just begging for a cousin or two to live in, Holly and Eric would still be more than able to come along.

It's what they call a patio home (a new term for me, I must not be watching enough House Hunters on HGTV), where the HOA takes care of all the yard work for you. Initially this sounded so totally me (as I am not a fan of lawn mowers, which is a nice way of saying I failed horribly every time I've tried to use one), but then I started to really wonder about the lack of any pictures of a backyard and THEN I noticed the monthly fee of $148.

You know, for $148 I could most definitely be hiring a service to take care of a much larger yard for me.

But that's ok, because the job I really REALLY wanted was as a Court Clerk all the way down in Centennial (see, I'm teaching you Colorado geography by making you wonder about the placement of all these places enough to go check out googlemaps), and I had already picked out this lovely home to go along with that position.

I really like the older trees in the yard, although the sloping hill aspect *might* cause a few concerns about trampoline placement. It has an even bigger basement than the pink one for random relatives to live in, and a LOT of main living area space (which is handy to have for things like toys and bouncy children running around).

So there you have it, my MLS finding skills for perfect houses in any situation.

Of course, we don't really need to go into details like how I did this with our moving to upstate New York a few years back and had even FOUND the perfectest of perfect house for us up there, which then ended up having already been sold before we could go see it, and my extreme levels of resulting disappointment and angst over that.

Or how I keep getting disappointed when the reality of how I'm just not in the place to seriously go house shopping right now keeps creeping back into these flights of housing fancy. 

Nope, nothing can be learned from such situations.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need to see whether any single family properties in Boulder proper have come up for sale for under half a million.

(Haha. Ha. Ha.... See, that was a little joke for the locals. The city of Boulder is RIDICULOUSLY expensive to live in compared to almost anywhere else besides regions like Manhattan and Washington DC.)


  1. house hunting can be cool! as can happy meals. how can you go wrong w/ a meal called "happy?" plus, they have apples now. : ) see? healthy!

  2. I live in the ridiculously expensive DC area. I love fantasy house shopping, but am getting slightly sad in my hunt for hte next Wayne Manor.

  3. I love it! So funny!! Who out there can afford to live in Boulder and own a house? I think it might even be more expensive than LA! I wish I could buy a house too.

  4. You know I totally have to graduate before I can actually move out there. But when I do get out there I will cook you homemade happy meals.