Saturday, February 18, 2012

A Letter to the Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert has done several recent sketches on the Colbert Report about his Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor Americone Dream lagging in sales compared to Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack.

I was doing inventory counts in the ice cream coolers at work the other day, and noticed something that just might be actually influencing the sales of the two flavors, at least from Target.

However, as the ONLY online contact I could find was a generic form through the main Comedy Central website, I was unable to attach the photograph proof I painstakingly took.

Luckily I keep a blog, and have the power to totally put whatever I want HERE.

Due note the placement difference of Late Night Snack vs. Americone Dream.

Annnnd, just for your amusement, here is a copy of the exact letter I sent about the grievous matter at hand.

Dearest Colbert Report,

I made an amazing discovery the other day regarding a possible reason for Ben & Jerry ice cream sales favoring Jimmy Fallon over Stephen Colbert, which has been a hot topic of discussion on recent episodes. I work at Target you see, and while I was busy taking inventory counts of the frozen goods I noticed that Late Night Snack is prominently displayed front and center right at eye level in the Ben & Jerry's cooler, while Americone Dream is near the bottom and tucked away to the side in a much less conspicuous location. Thus, the average ice cream browser would be much more likely to notice and grab (people are lazy and just HATE to bend over, even for ice cream) Jimmy's flavor.

I know my Target store sets all the shelves according Planogram, which are product and shelf placement designs created by the corporation in Minneapolis and distributed to stores nation wide. Although I have not had a chance to look into this matter further and confirm this for certainty, there is a high probability that all Targets of the same designation (we are not a full super Target with complete grocery selection, but rather dubbed a P-Fresh store because we carry bananas and ice cream) have the exact same ice cream cooler layout, and therefore have been giving noticeable (if possibly unknown) preference to Late Night Snack, hence driving Fallon's sales and decreasing Colbert's.

I took a picture of the case, to help illustrate the flavor placement inequity with the intent of sending it to you, but as this online form was the only email contact for the show I could find you will have to get in touch with me if you would like the attachment.

Thank you for your time, I hope you find this information useful.




  1. oooh, maybe they'll contact you!! which would be cool! except i just read an article that colbert is in reruns indefinitely? idk why...!

    1. One of the things I came across when searching for an email said there was a family emergency with Colbert's mother being ill... you know, for whatever that's worth or however accurate the internets are :-p

    2. well, that would make sense. hopefully she'll be okay!!