Sometimes I wish everything was different.
That everything wasn't so hard all the time.
That more days numbered "good" instead of "crummy".
That I had the power to change things.
That I had the wisdom to know what to change and how.
That I had the faith to believe in something and the courage to follow it.
For some days, I don't even believe in myself anymore.
I wish I was stronger.
I wish I was kinder.
I wish I was smarter.
I wish I was more patient and loving and understanding of others.
I wish I forgave easily.
I wish I didn't weigh the bad so heavily and the good so lightly.
But most of all, I wish I didn't spend so much time wishing these things.
For all the sincerest wishes in the world still don't amount to anything more than wishful thinking.