Wednesday, May 30, 2012

I Dropped the Cake

No really, I did.

In the most literal way possible.

And I felt REALLY horrible about it, you know, once I stopped laughing at just how horrible it was.

But perhaps I am getting ahead of myself...

You see, last week there was a combination graduation/birthday party for a couple of my coworkers.

Everyone was very excited about it, mostly because of the keg, but also just because it's that celebrating time of year and many of the bottom level of Target employees were there.

(Remember, the Team Leads and Executives have to have separate parties, because there can't be cross-rank-fraternization in the futile class Target management system.)

(I heard their barbeque that night was also quite nice, but I suspect it was probably not nearly as amusing as it did not contain cake at all, much less an epic dropping of such.)

My first concern upon hearing about it was whether there would be cake. Cake is very important to some of us, after all, and the birthday/graduation reasonings behind the party are also occasions where cake is often served.

Thus when I learned that there had been no previous plans to procure cake, I was more than happy to volunteer for the task.

And was quite pleased with the extremely cute and chocolatey result.

[Note: do not let Marty get the cake unless you want it to be CHOCOLATE]

Now the cake did end up being larger than I had anticipated (full sheet = really damn big), and a result of the size was also rather heavy.

However I had successfully manhandled the thing out of the grocery store, into my car, out of my car, and into the party house while wearing heels without issue (because I'm really badass like that), so I didn't think too much of it's size and weight beyond affirming that yes, it was a really damn big cake.

Everyone was making lots of jokes about whether I should be allowed to have a sharp knife to cut it once a general consensus was reached that it was time to cut the cake, but nobody thought that I shouldn't be allowed to pick it up after drinking several cups of beer.

Which is how it ended up on the floor in epic cake-dropping fashion and not cut into lots of delicious neat little pieces as I had intended.

And after further pondering about the incident, Cassi and I came to the conclusion that I was not, in fact, overly tipsy at the time for had that been the case I undoubtedly would have sat myself down on the floor with a fork right then and proceeded to eat my delicious cake in a ridiculously un-socially-acceptable fashion.

But I certainly don't need to argue away the perfectly acceptable "I was drinking" excuse for just being clumsy, therefore everyone is allowed to draw their own proportion-of-Marty-drunkenness conclusions.


  1. I could cry over the loss of perfectly good cake. And I would also pull a Joey Tribiani and eat it off the floor.

  2. Your dress is very pretty. Let's just focus on that and NOT on the way you destroyed that perfectly edible cake.

  3. So did anyone get a piece before the disaster?? A full sheet is gigantic!! I'm so distraught over this waste that I wish that I Could sit in the floor and eat it!