Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Why Potty Training Sucks: Example 1

Devil horns or pigtails? You decide
Adrianna wanted to go potty this afternoon.

As I really want Adrianna out of diapers, I am ALWAYS very encouraging and indulgent of her toilet-using requests.

However, right that exact moment in time I was in the middle of fixing the girls' dinner.

So Grandma helped out and brought Adrianna to the bathroom.

Adrianna happened to be wearing a pair of pink panties over her diaper from preschool that day (why? I don't know, but some things you don't really want the answers to...), and so after she peed those wonderful few tinkling drops Grandma asked Adrianna if she wanted to just wear her panties.

Adrianna was excited about it, and went on her merry underweared way.

After feeding the girls' dinner, I happened to be in the kitchen with Kristina cleaning up while Adrianna was off by herself playing in the play room.

Or so I thought.

When I went to see how she was doing in there, I found her sitting on my chair at my computer desk chowing down on my chocolate chips.

However, when I started to approach her I realized the situation was much, MUCH worse than originally anticipated.

She had pooped in those pink panties.

And then taken them off, with the expected skill of a two year old (by which I pretty much just mean she very thoroughly smeared shit all over herself in the process of "cleaning herself up" by removing her soiled bottoms).

And then sat down in my chair with her very poopy butt.

And THEN proceeded to grub around my computer and eat my chocolate chips with her very poopy hands.

So, after my three-second OH. MY. GOD. moment, I went right about cleaning up the poop-and-chocolate smeared child.

And after getting her cleaned up and re-clothed, set right about grabbing stuff to go clean up my chair and desk.

(Because really, EWW!)

However, the moment I had released the freshly cleaned Adrianna back into the wilds of the playroom,  she had bolted right back over to my desk, climbed right back up into my still-very-poo-covered chair, and made another pass for the contaminated bag of chocolate chips.

So I got to clean her up again, after throwing away the contaminated bag of chocolate chips, and then get my poor poor chair and desk sanitized.

But then, as I was regaling my parents with the poopy-chair-and-chocolate-chips story, Adrianna came running upstairs completely naked but for a set of suspenders she wanted to put on.

Eventually one of us stopped laughing long enough to try and explain to her that you have to have something, like pants, to use suspenders on.

And I promptly decided that it was most definitely bedtime right then.


  1. That is too much! I guess the 'is it poop or chocolate?' question holds new meaning for you now...

  2. I laughed until I cried. Seriously, my colleagues think something is wrong with me.