In fact, there was SO MUCH contained on two little endcaps that I had to split it between two posts. Yeah. There was that much. And let me reiterate, this is NOT from across the entire store or including regular merchandise (like the singing Justin Beiber toothbrush), this is just from a short term set that changes out every 6 weeks or so at the grocery end of the domestics section.
But getting right to the good stuff, first is one of my personal favorites with the feathered lamp. Actually, I was a big fan of the horriblness of ALL the lamps with this set, but you'll have to wait to the next post to see what could have possible come close to matching lighting decor a la chicken. Also, I keep looking at it and thinking there has to be some way to make it better. Like, make it those crazy neon glow colors. Then you wouldn't even have to turn it on it light up a room. Or make people run away. That's almost the same thing, right?
And now, I shall sprinkle my magic touch on this bowl of ramen, and it shall be transformed into gourmet dining.
How do you improve upon using animal heads for living room decor? Make them inflatable, of course!
But don't worry, the inflatable moose head will go fabulously with the grass and log throw pillows over on the couch. Really now, nothing says cuddle up and relax with me like log screen printing.
Except perhaps, a singing fish.
(I was kidding about that last part. Really, I was. Please, don't bring back that stupid singing fish. PLEASE. It lived it's far too long cheesy novelty life, now let it spend it's golden years collecting dust in the attic with the knitted Santa tea cozys in peace.)
Although there might be a problem when you start telling time by "yellow spoon just past blue fork". Just sayin'.
The tetris pillow was actually somewhat refreshing from much of what was on the endcaps. However, the part where I'm saying the video game inspired throw pillows were some of the best stuff there is disturbing in of itself.
But it would so clash with the Super Mario Brothers wall decals.
You know what doesn't clash with anything? The horribly gaudy oversized fake diamond ring pot holder! Damn is that classy looking right there or what??
Also, why is it on the right hand? I spent 5 minutes staring at that thing thinking I was loosing my mind by thinking it was on the wrong hand, and thinking no no, that can't possibly be. But it totally is. Proof that whomever is designing this shit is both probably blind and a little lacking of attention to details.
Despite my recent exposure to antics such as Mustache Friday, I'm still not entirely understanding the cultural obsession with mustaches. Especially on products like wine openers. Do you get the humor in it and why it's such a thing? Can you explain it to me please? Because like, there's another 3 mustache items to go in that next post, and I understand them even less than this one. Soon I'm just going to be rambling about the general inaccessibility and illogicality of memes applied to life outside the internet, and then nobody is going to understand any of it either.
The solar queen. So, I know us Americans don't have royalty, and therefore are simultaneously in awe of the royal family while being completely clueless about the ingrained laws of etiquette the British seem to have regarding their popular figureheads. But somehow, I don't think a sun activated waving figurine is really what they want us valuing from the monarchy.
Or, I could be wrong, and maybe it's like the dash-board hula girls in Hawaii, everyone in England has a waving Queen mounted on the wrong side of their motor-coach.
Now this is an alcohol accessory I would actually get a big kick out of. I don't know if I've ever really had much confusion keeping track of my beer in the party situation, but I would totally put one of these on my beverage while sitting alone in my house just because I felt like I needed some purple "confused" status. Also, I think these would be a fun housewarming gift (with a 12 pack, of course) for those not classy enough to appreciate the handlebar mustache wine opener By which I pretty much just mean me. Feel free to pick up on that less than subtle hint, and get me some beer bands any time. Then I can put them on various bottles to represent friends, and have an imaginary drinking party that would put the Mad Hatter and his tea cups to shame.