Sunday, July 8, 2012

Rock and Roll

Kristina finally settled on a pink rock-and-roll pegasus birthday party theme, which is totally cool except for the part where THERE ARE NO TRUE PEGASUS THEMED PARTY SUPPLIES IN EXISTENCE.

Kristina *also* liked the balloon
So, I'm hoping the gigantic My Little Pony balloon making a repeat birthday appearance will satisfy the pegasus part.

The pink rock-and-roll part is much easier, as they actually make that as a party theme and I can just shell over cash for overpriced pink guitar plates.

A very critical part of her rock-and-roll party vision is having music to rock out to, and being the totally awesome mommy I am, I just ordered a set of inflatable guitars to help in this process. 

Now if I was super rich mommy, I'd just have the people who put on School of Rock come by for a few hours and teach the kids how to actually play a rock song.

(Sorry sweetheart, you can put "childhood do-over with rich parents" on your list.)

But getting back to the birthday my child is actually going to have....

To have appropriate rock music on hand for her jamming out with an inflatable guitar, I've been doing a LOT (and oh do I mean a LOT) of looking through various compilation albums on Amazon to see if there just so happened to be a perfect awesome CD just ready to go to save me the slight annoyance of actually thinking up all these songs myself.

(Feel free to start shouting out suggestions at any time.)

And I have a confession to make.

I *almost* considered buying a Kidsbop CD.

But luckily my personal integrity quickly slapped some sense into me and pointed out that I wasn't allowed to compromise my entire parenting philosophy (mainly centering around how child sung vocal CDs are the most irritating and makes-me-want-to-stab-my-ears-just-to-make-it-stop things in existence) merely because I was being lazy and slightly unsure about exactly how much normal human behavior I can actually get away while remaining within the good parenting sphere.

So then the mission became simple: track down 20 or 30 songs that don't have actual cussing or particularly unsuble lyrics while also being kinda sorta rock-and-roll.

But damn is that a harder quota to fill than I would have thought, because then I start having deep metaphorical contemplations as to whether I can have AC/DC's Highway to Hell featured at a 5 year old's birthday party, as then all the preschoolers will start chanting "I'm on a highway to hell" [see: Yellow Submarine] en mass and some parents might not appreciate the hilarious adorableness of that as much as I would.

Also, do you KNOW how many songs talk about sex, booze, and killing people??

At least the oldies are safe (if a little less true rock and roll).... you know, unless you actually know the lyrics to Cecelia. Or like, anything from the Beach Boys. And I don't even get The Hand Jive, but I don't think it's good.

Well, there's always country.... Toby Keith? He has 3 decades of stuff, and a lot of it is pretty upbeat/rocking. Oh wait, do ALL of his songs include sex?

Musicals?? Musicals are little kid friendly and fun! .....except for The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And Hair. And 2/3rds of Grease. And... crap. 

Um.. ok, I could just get the stupid kids' albums with all the edited lyrics.... and *sob* children's voices destroying whatever ounce of actual music was there in the first place that hadn't already been mauled by the lyric changes.


Maybe I'll just put Purple People Eater on repeat. If I don't even understand it, it can't be dirty, right? Oh I know, La Bamba! It's in SPANISH!! They don't even speak Spanish!! How awesome is that?!

On second thought, I'm pretty sure the kids will have already heard all of it assuming the parents ever listen to the radio in the car (ohmygodwhathavemychildrenheard???), and therefore I shouldn't worry excessively about the alluded meaning of song lyrics and PG language being overly corrupting to the preschool stock of Nederland.

Or, at least I should be prepared to take full credit for the awesomeness of the Kindergarten class serenading the teacher with "We're not gonna take it"  complete with air guitar and drums on the first day of school after Kristina answers "what do you want to do when you grow up?" with "I wanna rock!"

Go class of 2026!!


  1. When is the party? I can come up with some songs for ya I'm sure

  2. When is the party? I can come up with some songs for ya I'm sure

  3. Marty, try the bands Skillet, Jars of Clay, DC Talk (all are Christian Rock, but clean), Three Days Grace - A Good Life, Linkin Park Burn it down, most Linkin Park songs are clean. Here is a good starter list. BTW what my kids want they get, daddy gets it done.

  4. Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Iron Maiden and the lyrics are pretty much Coleridge's poem. One curse word, but it's so fast you have to know the word and know where it'd be to even be able to really tell. Plus the song is fifteen minutes long.

    Barlow Girl is another Christian rock band with clean lyrics.

  5. So, you can get "clean" versions of CDs... maybe you can get clean mp3 tracks too?

  6. You could always look through all the "Now" cds for ideas

  7. My kids' favorite song at the moment: "Walk This Way." Not even remotely appropriate, but they don't understand it.