Thursday, August 2, 2012

Man Shopping, via la Internet

I finally did it.

I succumbed to my curiosity of online dating sites.

I did put in much thought beforehand (I was bored) and research (I googled up the top free dating sites from into the process of selecting okcupid for this venture.

24 hours and still only a half-completed profile later, I had been sent messages from 29 guys.

And I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed by it.

Sure it's easy to weed out a few, "hey ur hot wanna bang" just doesn't really do much for me on any (and I do mean any) level. 

[Side note: one should always UNSELECT the "casual sex" box under looking for category when making their profile.]

But beyond that... I don't know. Am I looking for actual dating possibilities? Something to do on the internet that's more entertaining than facebook? A second husband? Friends that don't work at Target? New hope of humanity?

I have no idea.

But then I started to wonder whether that indecision is a good or bad in of itself. Sure, it's harder to direct where things might go when you don't know where you're trying to get them to go at all. But it also means I'm not so focused on something specific that I'd miss out on other positive relationships that could happen along the way.

For example. most of my male friends from Target are not allowed near my children, much less considered in the "future husband" analyses, but that doesn't mean I don't have a lot of fun hanging out with them occasionally. If I'd only consider talking to those I thought could be serious life partner material, well, then I wouldn't have most of my friends. And similarly, I could see the occasional lunch with another human being to simply be enjoyable all on it's own, without there needing to be anything greater than interesting conversation and basic human companionship immediately at hand.

I'm hoping I can keep my present laid back point of view, and not get sucked into another world of online drama.

And I suppose there is always that faint possibility of something really amazing happening out of all of this. Or at least getting some really great blog stories, which is pretty much why I do anything in my life, to make a better blog.


  1. Good luck in your shopping excursion!

    I found my hubby on Yahoo personals. I probably wouldn't have met him otherwise, and he only lived a couple miles from me! We've been together 9.5 years amd married for 6!

    Of course - there were the usual batch of weirdos first. One guy gave me the 3rd degree - WHY was I responding to his ad? O_o Never mind!

  2. Part of me is really really happy that I was not a part of the internet dating generation. OTOH, I'm not dead yet and there is a lot that could happen. I know people who have met spouses and SO that way, so it is successful. But it's also a little weird/scary.

    I suppose you can always use more friends, so look at it like a networking event for friends. Sometimes, cool guys who don't do anything for you have cool friends that do.

  3. Good job taking a step out there. I hope you find the friends and more you're looking for!

  4. I agree with CassiMac -- it's great that you are putting yourself out there!

    I met my husband at a bar, so who am I to judge people for using an online match making service.