Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Store is Bananas

So, the last couple of weeks that I've been working over in Market, there's been a couple of occasions where we ended up with large batches (like, hundreds) of bananas that went spotty.

We're not supposed to keep the spotty ones on the shelf to sell, per Target quality food standards, so they get pulled off of the shelf and Qmosed.

I'm still not sure what Qmos even stands for, "questionable merchandise or otherwise shitty" has been my best acronym guess so far, but I'm really terrible at the acronym thing [see also: why I was a crappy military wife], and even had my own title wrong for a while.

(I am not a Produce Associate, I am a Perishables Assistant. Apparently. I told you I'm bad with acronyms.)

But getting back to the Qmos. It's the process of taking damaged or expired food stuff out of the inventory system to be thrown away. I Qmos the box of eggs that got dropped. I Qmos the strawberries that are growing fuzz. I Qmos the frozen dinners found hanging out in an abandoned shopping basket over in towels. I Qmos the yogurt that expires tomorrow. And I Qmos spotty bananas.

However, I happen to have a personal preference for bananas being slightly over ripe (read: spotty), and therefore find it excruciatingly painful to just throw them away. There are plenty of things I HAVE to throw away, like the other Qmos examples, but the spotty bananas... they're still completely edible food!

I could put them aside with the foodbank donation food. Except that to this day no-one has been able to tell me how the pick-up schedule for that works, and bananas at that stage just won't keep for another week (unlike the meat that's at expiration date that I just toss into the freezer).

So I've been putting them in the employee break room.

And people have just loved them!

So I thought this was a pretty awesome way to go. Less food is going straight into the trash, Target employees get a healthy snack, I feel like I'm being a doubly good person. A total win.

And then last night the store manager noticed what I had been doing with the bananas. And told me I'm not allowed to feed employees food we can't sell.

However, he did concede (after I had the most pathetic heartbroken look on my face) that he knows my heart was in the right place.

Which didn't do a whole lot to keep me from looking like somebody just kicked my puppy for the next hour or so, but was still a nice gesture on his part.

(Not as nice of a gesture as letting me keep doing what I had been doing would have been, but you know, sometimes that's just how life is in a corporation. Or so I keep telling myself.)

Sorry Target team members, no more spotty bananas for you.

Unless of course you happen to take one from the donation bin in the backroom. If I don't know about it, I am not responsible for it. And I'm really good at looking at my fingernails at the right time.


  1. Google says QMOS for Target is "quantity mark out of stock."
    I also love spotty bananas. I hope you find out what the pick up schedule is on the food bank because that's a very sad waste of delicious fruit.

    1. See, this is why I need you in my life, I clearly have no idea what google is for without you <3


  2. Jeez... What a waste. Seems silly that you're not allowed to feed them to the other employees.

  3. I do not think my local co-op has a Qmos person. They regularly sell black bananas and diary that is a week past it's best before date. They need you. You should start up a guerilla Qmos business -- it would be like the A-Team, but with fewer mohawks and more spotty bananas! Awesome.