But it's not because I'm playing games or shopping or reading trashy celebrity news.
It's because I'm talking to people on various forms of instant messaging and email.
And there's this trade off, because even though I'm physically more tired the next day for staying up so late, the people I talk to help me feel better mentally and emotionally.
I don't spend very much time just hanging out with people. On the not overly numerous nights I do go out with friends, it's usually much more of an event with large crowds of people, and the hours of just talking one on one are simply not there.
So I meet that basic need for human intimacy and companionship over the internet.
My favorite person to talk to is LauraJean. She is that girlfriend I gossip with, that sister who knows the secrets I tell nobody else, that fellow mommy veteran to share the good and the bad of children with, that therapist that helps me work through the dissolution of my marriage, that family core who reminds me that no matter what legal documents say I will always have a place amongst the cousins, that support who always reminds me that me is awesome and to never lose the me-ness.
And somehow, 4 or 5 hours are gone with neither of us noticing. And then we have that moment of "oh crap, we have to get up in the morning" and both hurry off to bed, promising ourselves to do better tomorrow.
Of course when tomorrow comes, we get caught right back up in the same talk all over again, and another evening slips by.
|LJ, Q, K, and A- March 2010, NY|
Luckily, she's in Nicaragua doing this whole missionary thing, and that requires absences as they venture out into the internetless land of latrines from time to time or host international visitors who expect some sort of hosting behavior in the evening as well.
And so there are periods where her and I cannot talk all evening, sometimes for weeks at a time! I continue about my life, not really noticing the absence of my dear friend beyond her not promptly replying to emails.
But then when she gets back, and we spend the evening talking again to catch back up, I realize all over again how much I've grown to need those nights talking with her.
And then I ponder how strange it is one of my best friends lives in another country from me. And not just in that "we were best buds for years and then she moved away" sort of way, but how her living in Nicaragua somehow aided the environment for us to become so close in the first place.
Of course, I think we've also become closer as we've gotten to more of the same stage of life.
When I first met her I was just a barely 19 year old college student, while she had already graduated from Stanford University (and had a course with Chelsey Clinton!) and was practically a certified genius, she was married and had already dedicated her life to being a minister.
Even when the babies started coming, there was still a gap between us. Although Quinn and Kristina are only a few months apart in age, Quinn was much of a responsible decision that took a little trying while Kristina was bit more of a brief passing of stupidity.
We were in different places still.
But now... now we both have two little girls. Now we both have careers (why yes, I am referring to working at Target as a career, thankyouverymuch). Now I have grown up a bit as I move closer to my 30s, and as such we have all sorts of wonderful conversations about all matters and things in life.
In fact, my ONLY complaint with LauraJean is that she doesn't have a Nicaragua cell phone plan, and therefore I can't send her text messages and pics as things happen during the day.
Yep, a little sleep sacrifice is totally worth it.