Monday, November 12, 2012

Like a Lady

A truly accomplished young lady should have a certain skill set, hobbies, and personality traits to maximize her potential for finding a good husband. Or kicking some serious ass in the world. You know, whichever she'd rather do.

She should be equally capable of making a gourmet sandwich and chocolate chip cookies.

She should excel at cursing when the occasion calls for it.

She should know how to punch so it hurts.

She should keep her hair clean.

She should be competent at using a hammer and electric drill. 

She should read books.

She should own at least one fancy dress and feel no shame in scaling fences, rolling in mud, and hiking it up to her waist to run faster should the evening of her wearing it be improved by such behaivor.

She should drink beer, whiskey, and wine with an even hand.

She should be kind.

She should appreciate loud music on occasion.

She should never let a stupid person talking cheap talk make her feel less about herself.

She should be good enough at sewing to re-attach a button and own enough duct tape to serve all other occasions.

She should laugh loudly and often.

She should remember to run as fast as she can just to feel the wind on her face.

She should know she's beautiful in her old patched jeans.

She should go through each day with the self-confidence to take over the world if need be.

She should be awesome.

And above all else, she should be memorable. 


  1. I've always considered you a lady. I just didn't have the full description to prove it.

  2. This is brilliant, Marty. I'm tweeting a like to you.

  3. Nan linked to this. I am glad she did. This was fantastic.