Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Rationing of Wedding Bells

December began with me attending the wedding reception of a good friend of mine. A good friend of mine who had been dating (not engaged, not living together, just dating) her suitor for longer than my entire marriage lasted.

My ex-husband got married again this past summer. This was actually a fairly significant delay in their original plannings due to his and my divorce not being finalized until last February (as a direct result of his less than stellar record of getting his portions of the paperwork completed and back to the court in a timely fashion, but we don't need to get into karma for this conversation) and other military influences.

And then there's me.

Personally, I'm coming to the opinion that one marriage per decade is plenty, and having that attitude completely justifies my lack of serious (or like, any) dating for the time being. After all, I'm only 27, I have another 3 years before I would even be eligible to consider marriage again should I follow my own philosophy. 

The biggest positive of the shit show that became my 20s is that I got a marriage and kids out of it. It's amazing how once you have children there is no longer any pressing desire to procreate, and there's nothing like a less than Disney marriage to make one rethink that fear of being alone. Sure being alone can suck at times, but it can also be a whole lot less crappy than many other situations.

And since those boxes have been checked, I have had no overwhelming worry about doing them again. I was all about getting married and having babies when I was 18. Now it's 'been there, done that' (and look how great that all worked out for ya) as I survey my life. And I want to do other things. I want to get promoted at work and feel like I have a career. I want to buy my own house for me and my children to grow up in. I want to spend time with the people who are important to me. I want to dream of traveling the world and creating a lasting piece of literature.

I have my children. I had a marriage. That was enough. Right now, I just want to be me.

1 comment:

  1. You sound like you have a great attitude -- about many things, but marriage in particular. Also, you probably have nothing in common with Kate Winslet. Hey Kate Winslet, you don't have to marry EVERY man who asks!"

    I remember my mid 20s when I worked in an office and all my same-age female coworkers were either planning weddings, or had just had a wedding. We were obsessed. Blergh -- it sounds like a premise for a movie by Richard Curtis.