Sunday, February 3, 2013

The Drudgery of Dating and Coworkers

I have not been much for writing blog posts about my dating life.

Sure, for all those reasons of privacy and of perhaps not wanting to exploit every single emotion I have on a public web forum for the world to see.

But really, it's just because there hasn't exactly been much going on.

At all.

And I'm starting to realize something.

I don't think I actually like dating. Or I'm just really bad at it. Either way, the Love Life of Marty hasn't exactly been generating what we like to call "blogging material".

Well, at least not in so far as "fun exciting (and/or horribly embarrassing mishaps)" real life stories are concerned. There have been a few brief moments I thought I would share about the subject though, as it's about all I have for blogging material besides more "look how adorable my children are" posts (which, of course, are always awesome, but I'm a fan of diverse blogging.)

(Also, sorry, I've been quite busy and tired this month, and it takes a toll on my ability to write even the rambling chaos I normally call 'blog posts', much less eloquent soliloquies to my dear friends.)

In the offstage Target employee area, a poster appeared for us to write our New Years Resolutions on.

Personally, I'm not much for making (much less keeping) such resolutions, but when pressed I went for the smartass approach and sarcastically said:

Sleep with less coworkers. 

I meant it much more as a joke than as any sort of actual goal for myself. However, it certainly wasn't a talking point that I was going to be allowed to backpaddle from once said, and thus a robust discussion of my Target Love Life began.

Turns out I have a WAAAAY better one based on rumors, gossip, and wild speculation than I happen to actually have. 

But those are minor details, to be sure.

Then came the part where I was asked why I hadn't written it up on the board for the world to see (because clearly, the collection of people sitting in the breakroom right then just weren't enough to witness such resolve). My justifying of how it was something HR would undoubtedly black out as inappropriate was turned into a look at the finer allusions of language, and ultimately it was decided that me writing "nap with less coworkers" would be ok.

After all, napping is totally different than sleeping, apparently.....

But never fear, for then it was pointed out that the proper grammatical structure of that sentence should be "nap with fewer coworkers".

And it was about this point that I made a speedy exit from the break room, and began eagerly counting down the days until it's warm enough to hide away with my book outside again.

(What can I say, I'm super wimpy when it comes to sitting out on snow covered concrete in below-freezing temperatures.)

However, the analysis of the Love Life of Marty was not done, for after I managed to convince a few particularly interested individuals (don't bother with harlequin paperbacks, just get up close and personal to me seems to be a theme for more than one....) that my "Love Life" was essentially in traction for the time being, they decided to help.

Which meant a riveting discussion of the entire male cast of Target.

Turns out that my lack of dates might be partially influenced by the general shortage of single men over the age of 21 working at Target, as subject after subject was slashed down for this very basic criteria.

Add on the petty details like Target hierarchical rules and personal interest on either side, and it was just a sad state of being.  

However, given this it should be fairly simple to keep that (horrible) New Years Resolution I unintentionally made.



  1. Sounds like it's time to start dating customers. Which brings up the question: in what department would you find the best single males over the age of 21? In the men's department undergarment area? Perusing high end electronics? By the condoms? Maybe you could get in good with the pharmacists who could tip you off when someone with a premium benefits package purchases some medicine NOT related to an STD.

    Oh, the possiblities are endless!

  2. Dating sucks. It's my motivation to work on my marriage. Ok, that and the kids, and he's a decent guy. But, still, I remind myself of the alternative.