My phone said 1:59pm as I stared at it anxiously.
The City of Boulder Affordable Housing Program said they would announce the lottery results at 2pm. They said they had to be able to reach me at that day and time. Well, I was being reachable in my manic compulsive behavior.
It's now or never for that condo, I dramatically thought to myself as I stared at the the clock numbers illuminated on the home screen.
Time creeped by, oblivious to the part where I was holding my breathe and in danger of passing out.
I had spent the morning at work convincing myself I wasn't going to get it. After all, since when do lucky good things happen to me? And the part where I was still staring at the phone willing it to ring was proof that no matter how cynical I am at times, there is a stupidly eternal optimist lurking somewhere in the depths of my repressed soul.
At 2:03pm I laid down on my bed.
Well, at least I can spend 30 minutes pretending to nap as an excuse to wallow in self pity before I have to go collect my children, I told myself.
At 2:06pm it rang, startling the crap out of me as I stared at the unknown Colorado number flashing on the screen in morbid fascination.
I'm calling on behalf of the City of Boulder, a woman's voice told me when I remembered how to actually answer the phone. I wanted to tell you the results of the lottery for the property on O'Neal Parkway.
Oh that's nice, I thought, at least they're going to let me know by what margin I didn't get it instead of leaving me to wonder indefinitely.
There was only you and one other applicant who applied, the woman's voice said.
I was surprised. It is a 3 bedroom centrally located good condition unit at a price well below market rates. I went to the open house, where there certainly seemed to be a fair amount of interest. I had figured at least a half dozen intent to purchase forms would have been submitted.
The woman's voice continued, you and the other applicant both have two dependents.
My mind flashed to one of the people at the open house. A small woman, with two little girls in tow on par with my own for age, who had been asking the realtor all sorts of questions about the complex itself.
Well, at least it went to somebody who is equally deserving, I thought with a tiny forced smile remembering her face and look in her eyes of someone who has been living a hard life.
But the woman's voice on the phone wasn't done yet. A preference is given to those who work in Boulder, which you do while the applicant does not, so you have first chance at placing an offer on the property.
I am certain my mouth was hanging open in a manner resembling a mule, and I'm pretty sure I may have made noises similar to a fish as I attempted to process this information.
I won the housing lottery. I actually get to buy it.
Holy fucking shit.
Eventually I managed to say thank you and mumble agreements to the rest of her instructions which I can only vaguely recall her telling me beyond the part where I had to have a contract to buy it submitted by close of business tomorrow, completely stunned about the part where it actually happened.
The rest of the afternoon was spent on the phone with the realtor and what was the third mortgage company I've spoken with about financing me for this.
Work breaks this morning were spent reviewing emailed documents and listening to voicemails.
After work I spent 2 and a half hours and dealing with two banks, the realtor, and the city of Boulder. Right now I am completely exhausted and drained on so many levels and desperately need to tuck my children in bed, take a hot bath, and just go to sleep tonight as soon as I possible can.
But I did it. I got the purchase offer submitted to the city and am going under contract to buy my own place.
The rest of this week will be spent dealing with bank and lending issues and getting financing actually set up. Next week will be home inspections and reviewing the HOA policies. And then, with the forcasted date of May 30th, I will be handed the keys to my very own condo.
It's taken two years and a ridiculous amount of work (which is no where near done yet), but I am actually tangibly succeeding on the single biggest want/life goal I've had for myself since I left New York.
Oh. My. God.
I might even remember how to have a normal heart rate at some point this summer.