Monday, December 16, 2013

50 Questions My 6 Year Old Asked at Bedtime

Full disclaimer: All of these things are true without embellishment and recorded exactly how she said it to the best of my memory. Luckily, most of these have come through the question filter at least a couple of times, so I'm pretty good at remembering them by now.

Fuller disclaimer: Bedtime basically always involves me gently telling her to shut up stop talking now so she can go to sleep. Every single night. So you know, there are worlds of gems left unsaid because of my cruel parenting tactics of trying to get her to actually sleep eventually.

  1. Why are boogers green?
  2. Where does snow come from?
  3. Are you going to go to jail?
  4. Do I have to wear a coat forever?
  5. Can we go to the store so I can buy something with my money?
  6. What does the fox say?
  7. Why did you and daddy get divorced?
  8. What does the tooth fairy do with all the teeth she takes?
  9. Can I get a puppy for Christmas?
  10. Am I staying at grandma's house on the weekend? 
  11. Is God a man or a woman?  
  12. Do rattlesnakes really kill people? 
  13. Can you paint my toenails pink again?
  14. What is the atomic bomb?
  15. But HOW are babies made?
  16. Why is my back lumpy?
  17. Can I get a puppy for my birthday?
  18. What do aliens look like?
  19. Why do I always have to wear shoes?
  20. Is TV bad for kids? 
  21. What does [holds up middle finger] mean? 
  22. Will you get me a car when I'm 16?
  23. Can we get a pony for Christmas? 
  24. Why do I have to have a little sister forever?
  25. Are you [and boyfriend] in love?
  26. Why do firetruck sirens go WEEOOWEEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOO?
  27. When will I be a teenager? 
  28. What is gangnam style?
  29. Would you sell me for a thousand dollars? 
  30. Why do people eat sushi? 
  31. Why are dinosaurs extinct? 
  32. How do Santa's Elves make all the toys? 
  33. Can I use your toothpaste tomorrow? 
  34. Why is my head itchy? 
  35. How do spaceships fly? 
  36. Do soldiers really shoot people? 
  37. Can we never cut my hair ever again? 
  38. Do I have to go to college? 
  39. Why is our apartment on the top? 
  40. How do you make a whistle that sounds like a bird? 
  41. Can you get me bubble gum from Target tomorrow? 
  42. When will we go see my cousins again?
  43. Why do people puke when they're sick? 
  44. Can we read the rest of the chapter book tomorrow?
  45. Why do you drink so much soda? 
  46. Why are there stars?
  47. Can we get a new car with a TV in it? 
  48. How long until you die? 
  49. Where is my DS? 
  50. What happens if you poke a slug with a stick?