Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Job I Almost Got

It all started with an emissions test. In Colorado, you are required to get re-tested every two years, and you cannot do your annual license plate registration without it.

Being the often overwhelmed easily distracted mediocre adult person which I am, I tossed the notice into the Pile of Paperwork Doom on the kitchen counter corner when my mother handed it to me, as it had been sent to her house since I hadn't bothered to update an address change with the county.

[Note to self: register updated address and re-register to vote]

A month or so later, I happened upon it again while searching for something completely unrelated and realized I needed to get on that like, last week. I immediately jumped onto the computer to do the online registration, only to discover that I had to take an emissions test first.

Some cross referencing with the master calender reveled I wasn't likely to have an opportune time to make this happen without children in tow for at least the next week and a half, so I decided to get the pain over with as quickly as possible.

The children were thrilled by me turning off the TV show they had just begun to watch, and positively overjoyed by the announcement that we needed to go run a probably long and definitely boring and somewhat stupid errand right then.

I may or may not have bribed them with dinner at McDonald's post emissions test somewhere in there.

And so that is how I ended up spending a Wednesday afternoon with children waiting for an emissions test to be completed.

It was right about the time they really got into the big blowing fan test with my vehicle that Adrianna decided she had to pee, which is how I ended up in the McDonald's bathroom mere moments after finishing the testing when my cellphone rang. I glanced at the number, and saw it was a local but unknown one. With my mind still on the just completed emissions test, I answered it totally expecting it to be the emissions testing facility telling me that I left my drivers license and checkbook sitting on their counter and they're closing in ten minutes so if I want them back today I better get over there pronto. Not that I have an unsettling habit of forgetting important things when otherwise distracted by demanding children and/or my own thoughts. Often. Ahem.

But it wasn't the emissions place. It was a place I had applied for a job at, according to the nice man on the phone, although as I wasn't anywhere near a computer I wasn't exactly fact-checking where I had sent applications to in the past week. He then proceeded to tell me all sorts of useful information about the company, including handy things like the name, address and phone number, and whom I would be interviewing with.

I had no writing instrument, was plugging one ear to hear him over the retro mood music the Boulder McDonald's pipes overly-loudly into the bathroom, and attempting to silently shush the 4 year old who was asking me to help her wipe her butt.

It was truly a glamorous moment of parenthood right there.

However, thanks to the wonders of the internet and my best recollection of the conversation, I later found everything he had told me online and felt slightly less befuddled by the whole affair when I went in for the interview.

I also was not standing in a fast food bathroom assisting a small child with her personal hygiene, which did wonders for boosting my "yes I am totally an awesome professional" mentality. That, and fancy (by which I mean, pretty much anything that is not a sneaker or snow boot) shoes. I do love me some fancy shoes on occasion.

The interview went well, and ended with them asking me to come back for a second one to meet the program manager.

I was so excited. The office was lovely, the commute ten minutes, the staff friendly and personable. Words like "flexible office hours" and "salaried" were thrown about, along with the truly drool worthy "potential for advancement". And nothing heavier to lift than a ream of paper in sight.

Then I went back for the second interview, where the program manager was vaguely out of town and they just wanted to chat for ten minutes about whether I'd be ok watering the plants. But I still thought I did well, with a nice balance of honest, professional, and wit (even if it was just about stupid stuff like watering the plants). I wasn't even shaky for it, which might very well be the first interview ever that I've made it through without that happening from nervousness.

Now, I've never been to a second interview besides the one where I got hired at Target, so I really don't feel like I have a good base to definitively say how they typically go... but this one seemed odd. The person I was told I'd be interviewing with being gone, no real questions posed, extremely short.... Not odd enough to make me any less excited right then about finally getting a professional job, mind you, but that's how hope works I guess.

And then after I had already picked out my first day of work outfit (I got a new sweater for it and everything), I got a very generic email politely informing me I wasn't selected for the position.


I guess getting a second interview that went well doesn't mean you're basically hired after all.

It's ok. I mean, it's not like it was that big a deal right? I wasn't really looking forward to it or really needing it to feel like I'm not still sorta failing at life or anything like that. I've already been rejected by a few thousand other jobs, what's one more anyways.


And then I went and saw The Lego Movie this past weekend, and will just listen to this song on repeat forever. It's awesome.

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